I had my first contraction last night. It was unmistakable. My entire uterus became hard – it’s usually firm while giving way beneath gentle prodding, but it became hard and immovable. It grabbed all of my attention. I tried to relax and sink into the pain, accepting it. I rolled off the ball I was sitting on, onto the floor, my knees spread apart to allow me to fold over into a sort of child’s pose.
Labour, y’all. It’s gonna be a challenge. I’m so excited!
Until now, I’ve had some cramping, some contracting that I couldn’t feel except by pushing into my belly from the outside, and the lower back achiness that I always get before menstruating. This was the first sign that LABOUR is coming. It excited me, but it also freaked me out. Are we ready? Can one ever be ready?? I’ve been thinking I was about a 9/10 in terms of readiness. Last night, I thought – I’m 0/10! How can you ever be ready for something this huge!
From the frivolous (has everyone I care about had a chance to feel him moving in my belly?) to the existential (do we know how to take care of a helpless human who is going to LIVE with us?) my mind was weighted down with the realness of the transition that was potentially before us.
This inaugural contraction was precipitated by my walking back and forth in my home, as it was too cold to go for an actual walk, and then by my sitting on my yoga ball and rolling my hips around while I read. So – on the agenda for today: Big. Long. Walk.
Come on out, little one! We’re “ready” for you!